Modern Romance Advice

What should be the simple pleasure of getting to know another human being can sometimes buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations and the baggage of previous relationships. Here are some tips to consider when dating:

A shared sense of humor is important. Try to bring laughter to the date. Try to get a laugh out of the guy. That way you know you’ve got something. If he doesn’t get your jokes what else is he going to “get” about you?

Women sometimes add unnecessary pressure because of the hope that this guy is “the One”. Please don’t do that to yourself. Remember it’s just a date. Enjoy yourself and take things one date at a time.

Do not give up. But if things do not go well be prepared. Take your cell phone along on the date. A discreet call to a friend can help you engineer an early end to the date gone wrong.

Have a specific plan when you’re going out on your date. Do not leave things up to chance. Flexibility is nice but it reduces anxiety to know what to expect in terms of activity and how to dress.

If the date goes well do not hang on until the wee hours of the morning. There will likely be a next time. Don’t feel like you have to milk it for all it’s worth. Just look forward to spending time together again.

If the date turns out to be a dud do not make any promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if you feel no interest in further socializing. Be honest and say you feel there is not a basis for anything other than friendship and let your date take it from there. Pick yourself up and move on.

Remember that the first date is supposed to be fun. You are getting to know this person and he is getting to know you. It should not be something that feels like a meeting with your boss. So relax, enjoy yourself, be natural, and go with the flow!