Marriage Dating, The Ultimate Cheat

It is truly astounding the sheer number of websites online that serve not only singles, but married individuals who are looking for affairs. That’s right, married dating! Flings are nothing new, of course. Affairs have been going on for as long as cavemen have been choosing their significant others. But this well… let me go further.

What is most surprising is the number of “so-called” respected dating services that do encourage men and women to have affairs

Many of these dating services have gotten exposure from shows like “Dr. Phil”, “Today”, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, etc. This does bring up a point that should be considered. Only because a website gets mentioned widely in mainstream media does not necessaily mean that the message is a wholesome one.

Overall, most marriage counselors and relationship experts would agree whole heartedly that monogamous relationships are not just healthy for us, but also seem to be in our nature. Our marriages thrive in harmony. Harmony can only exist in honest effort.

When we fall in love with that special someone and our emotions are corresponded, this does not happen by chance; this seems to be ingrained in general human design. This is what real responsibility and wholesome family values are made of.

But in today’s world, there is a lot of added pressure, stress and confusion heaped upon us. The family unity, along with our inner values, can get lost in a lot of mixed signals. The mainstream media is only one instance where we have gone astray. When the media becomes the message, then quite often, we will see double standards being applied. When we see people we admire in the news having extra-marital affairs, this can be confusing.

Marriage dating is like walking the razor’s edge, playing with fire, pick your metaphor for dangerous. This simply is a fact. Both guys and gals will usually start searching outside of their relationship for different reasons, but the outcome is generally the same. Deep resentment over betrayal, confidence is put to the test and often, the marriage will not survive taking extra-marital blows. Most experts concur: Even married dating under the “open marriage” rule, in time, will undermine the larger bond and commitment between husband and wife.

When you consider that the dating industry itself is a multi-million dollar concern, it is easier to read between the lines. Many of these services are telling you that married dating is Ok to practice. This comes from a financial agenda and nothing else. The competition is fierce for new members. When married dating is part of the offering, this opens the doors to a whole new market segment for the online dating services, aside from the “singles” market.

Many of us muse and daydream about the “what ifs” that we lack in our day to day. Living out our lives through the eyes of others can, on occasion, even be a good thing.

Married dating will always paint a picture of something better on the other side of the fence. But this is rarely the case when acted upon.

It is true, as time moves forward, that more couples than ever before are ending their marriages in divorce. But there are also more people on the planet than ever before getting married. The number one reason the married couples get divorced today is disillusionment in the relationship. Marriage, like any other genuine human connection, takes work and responsibility. When people begin to take their marriages for granted, often times they do not know why they are feeling restless and having second thoughts.

The online websites that promote married dating seem so tempting because they offer the anonymity of cyberspace. Discretion is one of the first key triggers they can offer you. If no one knows who you really are, you can become someone else. After all, there are many others who are having flings through these online dating services.

Consider that the nagging desire to have an extramarital affair is almost always associated with something more profound and deeper that is not being taken care of in the relationship. Working on the real issues together with your spouse will only prove to strengthen the bond between you.

Everyone needs help at one time or another. If the troubles in the relationship seem to heavy to tackle alone, consider consulting a pofessional counselor. Marriage counselors and relationship experts are equipped to deal with problems in marriage that can’t be resolved easily.

The bottom line is that most of us have tons of time and emotional energy invested in our marriages. Frequently, the children, the impact on their lives and the consequences of our actions on their future need to be taken into consideration. All of your alternatives should be explored before coming to the conclusion that a solution can only be achieved through separation or divorce.

You really need to be sure that you did absolutely all that could have been done to solve things. If you don´t, it will come back and bite you in the future.

Married dating will never strengthen a marriage. At best, it may look tantalizing from the outside, but in practice will only cause guilt, pain, shame and distrust. In a short word…DON’T.

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